fight for survival
by VAlover10
Summary: After being shot Rose Hathaway is put in surgery, but is it enough to bring her back. follow what happens in Roses head as she has to do what ever it takes to get back to Lissa. to get out she has to complete a series of challenges, with each challenge there is a new visitor. i don't own anything richelle mead does (so jealous) please favorite, follow and review
1. Chapter 1

"She's loosing too much blood, we have to get her into surgery now." Said a voice from the darkness. I was dead, or at least I should be dead. I had finally agreed to let death take me like it should have done years ago in the accident. Roberts's words replayed over and over: the world of the dead won't give you up a second time. I knew he was right; this time there would be no coming back. I couldn't move, everything was black and empty, and yet I don't feel dead. I guess I don't exactly know what it feels like to be dead. From all the theories and stories I should be either be flying around in the sky with a pair of angel rings and a harp, or I should be down six ft. under with the fires of hell torturing me for what I have done. Considering my record I would say option two is where I would end up. I was never truly religious; I decided that I would believe that god exists as long as he lets me sleep in on Sundays. Lissa was always the religious one but then again so were most Moroi especially the royals. I did believe in ghosts after all I can see them; it was a shadow kissed side effect. Many years ago I died in a car accident along with Lissa's parents and brother André. Lissa brought me back to life and thanks to that we became bonded and I became shadow kissed. Maybe this is Lissa's doing. Maybe she is trying to heal me but it's taking longer because I have already died and come back to life. I hope she isn't healing me. When I ran in front of Lissa and took the bullet I had decided that I could accept this death. I had always said that if I died I wanted to die protecting Lissa. Seeing her and Dimitri made me realise that this is what I was meant to do. My job was to protect her and that's what I did. I saved her life. I hope she didn't heal me; the amount of spirit she would have had to use to bring me back is too much. If it didn't work the darkness would come and there would be no one to take it away from her. I don't want her to go backwards to the depression of become so crazy like Sonya that she turns her self-strigoi. So many people still need her; she would have made an amazing queen. She could still become queen. Announcing Jill as her sister meant she had another family member and could actually become queen, or even get to vote. The world needs Lissa. It doesn't need me.

"Were loosing her. " Shouted someone from the darkness.

"Quick charge up the defibrillator." I was starting to get worried. A defibrillator is a device that restarts a heart. Oh no they were trying to bring me back.

"One…two…three…clear!" I felt my body jolt.

"Again. One…two…three clear!" a burst of light shot through me.

It was so bright I had to squint my eyes. I put my hands up to shade my eyes from the bright sun. I found myself in a meadow. The long green grass that tickled my legs seemed to go on for miles. The flowers perfume was so strong that it would make any Moroi feel sick. The colours were so vibrant that it gave my tanned skin almost seem to glow. Was this heaven? I looked behind me, no wings. Looking down I saw I was wearing a simple maroon skaters dress, on my wrist was Lissa's chotki and hanging around my neck was my Nazar. I smiled knowing that even in the after life I had my protection with me. Far off, in the distance I saw someone staring at me. Instantly my defences were up waiting for them, but they just stood there staring at me. After a couple of seconds they turned away and started walking off. I was confused, but I had to know who they were and where I was. I called out to them. But they just kept walking. Realising that they weren't going to turn around any time soon I started to follow them. They were still pretty fast so I started picking up speed until I was running at full speed. I got closer until I was right on their trail. As I got closer I began to notice things that were very familiar to me. The messy brown hair, the designer clothes, the smell of his cologne was so familiar to me.

"Adrian?" I whispered to my self. "Adrian!" I shouted. This time he stopped. I ran up next to him and saw him as clear as daylight. Adrian was here.

"Well little dhampir I was wondering how long it would take you" he said with his usual smirk.

"Adrian how is you here? You're alive." I questioned.

"So are you," he answered simply.

"What?" I asked in shock, "no, I died, I was shot. Wait please tell me you didn't heal me. Wait, is this a spirit dream?"

"Shh, " he started putting a finger to my lips, "all will be answered shortly but right now, we have to go." He said and started walking again. I followed a couple of steps behind before grabbing his arm stopping him.

"Go?" I questioned, "Go where? "

"You have another visitor." And with that he smiled and walked a couple of steps before disappearing into something. I hesitated for a couple of seconds before shaking my head.

"Don't hesitate." I said repeating Dimitri's first lesson. And crossed over the border. While crossing so many questions flashed through my mind. Am I dead? Am I alive? Where will this take me? How is Adrian with me? What is going to happen? Am I trapped? Is Lissa ok? Was Adrian really here? And who is my Visitor? It's all waiting on the other side.


	2. Chapter 2

I appeared in a place I knew well: the ski resort. Looking around I saw that everything was exactly the same as it was the last time I had seen it. I wandered down the long corridor that led to the balcony recalling every memory from this place and how much I wish I could go back sometimes and change a few things. I opened the door to the balcony to see the sun was just starting to rise. The snow glittered like diamonds in the sunlight. I walked towards the railing and looked out. Nothing had changed. I dusted the snow off the railing and placed both hands on the cool metal. I closed my eyes and let my skin soak up the warm feeling of the sun. My breathing was calm and steady and I thought about all the people that could be coming. I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear someone coming towards me until they spoke. "Breathtaking isn't it?" I gasped and turned around to see who it was.

"Eddie?" I asked uncertain.

"Hey Rose. Sorry was interrupting something?" he asked apologetically.

"No I was just thinking." I answered truthfully. He smiled and joined me at the handrail. He was dressed in the courts guardian uniform and had a stake in his hand. I quickly moved my head to see his neck; a promise mark was sitting in the middle of his neck. I turned back around and stared at the rising sun with him.

"So I bet you've got a lot of questions." He said while still staring at the sun.

"Trust me I have a list but first I want to know why are you here?" I asked.

"I think you already know the answer to that." He stated plainly.

"I have a theory." I said.

"Enlighten me then." He said turning to look at me. I sighed before turning to him with my eyes looking down. I took a deep breath before lifting my head and meeting his eyes.

"Because I can't see him… Mason. Even now." I took a breath to calm myself. "He's gone and we were, the two people closest to him. We loved him and lost him and now you could lose me. You're here because he can't be and because you know him as well as I do and know what he would say if he were here." I said loudly. He was silent for a while; I turned my attention back to the view. The snow was melting rapidly.

"You don't need me here for that Rose. You know what he would say. He would tell you to not give up. You aren't dead Rose but you're close. You have to fight. You have to keep your self-alive. He wouldn't have wanted you to join him just yet. You can't leave us we need you, Lissa even more." He said. "And someone needs to talk to you." I turned to look at him. He smiled and turned to look back at the mountain. I turned back to see what he was looking at. The snow was melting turning into water. The water all came together and came towards us like a tsunami. I backed away from the railing but Eddie had other ideas. The water crashed into the railing but it didn't fall back. In the water, I could see him. I saw mason with the bright red hair, freckles and friendly smile. "He always has been looking out for you. Along with everyone else." Said Eddie. I kept looking into the wave. Mason moved to the side and I saw Lissa's family all standing there smiling at me. I smiled and waved to them. They smiled back but said nothing. They all moved to the side to reveal Natalie. She walked towards me all her features were back to before she became strigoi. She waved to me and smiled. I smiled back and looked at Eddie.

"They have always been watching." He said.

"I miss them." I admitted.

"Don't tell me. Tell them," he said gesturing to the wave. I nodded and walked towards the wave.

"Natalie. I miss the way you were. In the end, I know it wasn't your fault. Your dad can be pretty persuasive, I just hope that where ever you are he cannot follow you." and with that Natalie faded.

"I'm sorry that it had to me who was brought back, I know how much Lissa missed you. She loves you all so much. I promised to protect her and I swear I will always look after her. I will fight because I know she needs me. She needs me as a guardian, a friend and a sister. I have tried so hard to protect her and yet at times, I fear I have failed. All I want is for her to be safe. I feel what she feels and I know she would have wanted you by her side now more than ever and with me gone she is completely alone. I will fight to survive and I promise I will always protect her. You were all like a family to me. You took me in like one of your own and I can never repay that but I will try. It's not they come first for me. It's she comes first." They smiled to me and waved before fading away like Natalie.

"Mason. I loved you so much even if it wasn't in the way you loved me. I wish I could have saved you maybe you would have been standing in my place and I in yours. Unfortunately I know you too well and you would never let me do that. You would always put everyone and anyone above you and that's what makes you so amazing. I miss you so much and I would give anything for you to have had the life you deserve. I hope you are happy where ever you are. I miss you and your sarcasm. Bye Mase" he nodded to me and faded. The water suddenly dropped and made a gigantic pond below us. Eddie started walking away but I pulled him back.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"You know sometimes you should just take a leap of faith. Besides someone is waiting for you." And with that he jumped off the railing into the water below.

"No hesitating," I told my self before running and diving in to the water.

How is it? i hope your liking the story so far. Please review guys it makes my day and please if you have any suggestions for this story don't hold back i love to hear your ideas. thx xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

When I came out, it was dark. Above me the stars twinkled in the dark night sky. The full moon illuminated the darkness making my dhampir sight able to see everything as clear as day. I looked down to see my outfit had changed from the maroon dress to workout leggings and a plain grey t-shirt with a black zip up jumper. The shoes I was wearing were just my normal black sneakers that I wore all the time. Satisfied with what I was wearing I looked around. Pine trees were spread out as far as the eye could see. Far off in the distance I could see the faint glow of orange indicating a fire. I had two options: stay here and wait for something to happen, or go and see what the glow was. I decided option two seemed better. After all Eddie said someone was expecting me. I ran through my options. These woods had no connection to me like the ski lodge did, but then again neither did the meadow. I walked closer to the glow. With each step my curiosity grew. Who was next? I walked closer until I was right on the boarder of the trees. In the darkness, I could see someone dressed in black standing in front of a bon fire. Not knowing whom it was I stayed concealed in the shadows. Slowly they lifted their hand and a fireball appeared I watched with wonder as the fireball levitated and started floating towards me. I stepped back away from the fast approaching ball of light. A branch snapped beneath my foot blowing my cover even though I never had a cover in the first place. They knew I was here.

"So shy? What happened to you Rose? You were never like this before." Said a deep voice that I knew well, maybe too well.

"Christian" I said. My voice sounded so surprised even though I wasn't. I guessed it would have been him. The fireball was a huge giveaway.

"Who else?" he asked sarcastically. I never really liked him before but that all changed when he became my Moroi for field experience. I discovered we had more in common than I thought. We're sarcastic smart Asses, we both disagreed with the royals system even if it is for different reasons and we both cared about Lissa so much. I didn't answer; instead I walked out from my hiding place and walked towards him. The fireball followed closely behind me before returning to the bon fire.

"So are you ready?" he asked looking at me. He looked exactly the same as the last time I had seen him. He was still wearing the  
outfit from the election.

"Ready?" I started "Ready for what?" I asked.

"Your next task. You completed the last one perfectly now its time for the next challenge." He said.

"Challenge? What challenge? I didn't do anything." I argued.

"You admitted your true feelings to the people who had left you. You had told them what deep down inside you had always wanted to say to them and they heard you." I was stunned. I didn't even know that was a challenge.

"That was a challenge?" I asked.

"Yes. Now we have to hurry you're running out of time." He said.

"What." I asked

"No time for questions" he said.  
"What do I do?" I asked.

"Run." He said. A loud noise came from the woods. I turned to look at where it came from.

"Psi hounds" I muttered. That was enough for me. I ran off into the woods. I had dealt with these guys before. When Lissa and I were living on the run Victor Dashkov sent some to find us. At the time, I thought it was the academy using them to bring Lissa and I back to the academy. Later I found out the truth when he kidnapped Lissa and tried to use her as his personal healer. Psi hounds were expertly dangerous; they are like dogs only bigger and more ferocious. They share a psychic communication and only listen to the Moroi. They are extremely fast and strong. Their teeth can chew through cement and they could smell and hear you from miles away. From the sound of their howl I knew they were close. I ran as fast as I could. Dimitri would have been proud. I kept running until I was right on the edge of a cliff. I almost fell off but managed to get my balance back. I heard the howl again, this time it was louder. They were really close. I looked behind me but there was nothing there (that I could see) I turned back around and looked down. Below the cliff there was water, lots of it. I considered my options- jump and be the coward, or stay and face those ugly sons of bitches. I knew which one I preferred but I decided to jump. I sucked up my pride and jumped not the water. I still had so many un-answered questions and need to know what's waiting for me after these tests. Some part of me was ashamed that I wouldn't fight. After all, that's what all my life had been. Train, fight, and kill. Not to runaway from the enemy but to face them. I held firm though and thought about Lissa. I can't afford to do anything stupid here. If it's true that I am alive, what would happen if I died in here? Would I die there as well? I looked up to see four psi-hounds standing on the cliff face. They were off my trail. The water would conceal my scent. Slowly they all turned their back and walked away. I sighed in relief and looked back at the cliff top. There was nothing there. My eyes moved slowly down the cliff until I spotted something. It was darker than the rest of the cliff. I swam towards it using all my strength. As I got closer I saw it was a cave. I swam faster but as quiet as possible. For all I knew there was another challenge waiting for me in there. Once inside I could feel the water getting shallower and shallower until there was none left. I walked over to a rock and sat down. I took off my jacket and shoes and put them to the side. I was in the middle of wringing out my hair when a huge fire roared to life a couple of meters in front of me. I slid off the rock gently and walked towards the fire. It felt so nice and made my cold wet skin tingle with its newfound warmth. After a couple of minutes the shivers went away and the goose bumps faded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before turning around. I knew he was here. I could tell even before the fire.

"Better?" he asked sounding more concerned than I had ever heard him before. I shrugged and crossed my arms across my chest.

"It be better if I had marshmallows." I answered. He chuckled to himself and shook his head.

"Even in here your only concern is food." Said Christian coming towards me slowly.

"It's not my only concern." I argued.

"Yes Lissa." He said. I didn't say anything back. I didn't need to. Lissa was my biggest concern, she always had been. And he knew that because she was his biggest concern as well.

"Well you are aloud to reward your self, you passed after all. " he said.

"Thanks but what exactly did I pass?" I asked.

"You passed the test by putting your pride aside and doing what you knew would get you to win in the end," he said.

"So I passed by running away?" I asked.

"Hey I don't make the rules Rose. " he said.

"Then who does?" I asked.

"I can't tell you, " he said moving back a few steps.

"Your not really here are you?" I asked.

"No Rose, I'm not." He kept walking.

"Don't go. I still have so many questions." I said not wanting him to leave.

"Then ask." He said simply still walking backwards. The whole time his eyes never left mine.

"What happens if I die in here?" I asked.

"You fail." he was stating it like it was an obvious fact.

"And what happens to the real me when I fail?" I asked.

"You die." He said. I was scared he was going to say that. I had a feeling these challenges were going to get a lot harder.

"You shouldn't worry Rose. I have seen you make it out of the most impossible situations. Compared with everything else that has happened this is a 7." He said.

"What do I do?" I asked.

"Just go into the light." And with that he blew away like ashes in the wind. Was he joking with me? Go into the light. Is this some kind of sick Christian joke about me fighting for my life? I turned back around and held my hands over the flame. The fire felt colder than it did. That made no sense. The fire was still exactly the same as it was a few minutes ago. I hesitantly brushed my hand through the flame. I felt nothing. Then I got it. Just go into the light. God Christian always likes confusing me. Really here or not he's still a pain in the ass. Without another thought I stepped into the fire. The light made me close my eyes but I was ready. I can't hold back. I have only one goal. Pass every challenge and get back to Lissa.


	4. Chapter 4

The next place I found myself in was one of the last places I expected to be. I was in my jail cell. I was in the same cage that kept me trapped with the same ice-cold bars that made me shiver. I was standing in the same place that made me so claustrophobic that by the time they broke me out I was close to loosing my mind. Yes everything was the same apart from one thing. The door was opened. I stepped out of the cell into the dark hallway and started walking. I didn't care what this test was I was going to pass and I won't let anything get in my way. As I walked down the hall, I felt like there was no end. I began to pick up speed until I was running. I ran and ran until suddenly I hit something and fell back. I groaned as I sat up. My head was aching and I felt dizzy, but I ignored that. I stood up and put my hands out in front of me expecting to feel an invisible wall or something like that. Instead there was nothing. There was totally nothing there. It was just like passing through a ghost. I let go of the tension in my shoulders and began walking again, just walking. It seemed to be a good idea. I walked down the corridor until suddenly I was out. I was standing in the middle of the courtyard at the royal court. I looked behind me but there was nothing there. The hall was gone. I looked around for whom my next visitor was but there was nothing out of the ordinary. It was still the exact same as when I last saw it. It wasn't until I heard a voice that I knew I wasn't alone.

"Looking for someone?" I gasped. I knew that voice, but it was impossible.

"Tatiana?" I asked not truly knowing if this was real or not. I turned around and there she was dressed in a long cream and gold dress. I guess I was right. There was a ghost.

"Lost are we?" she asked. She appeared to be glowing in the bright light of the sun.

"No. I'm just confused. How are you here? I thought ghosts couldn't come. Mason-" I started but she cut me off.

"Mason has moved on. I haven't. "

"You have unfinished business?" I asked though it came out as more of a statement.

"Yes" she nodded.

"Tasha. You need to see your killer actually gets charged for killing you. " I said.

"No" she said.

"No?" I asked.

"No. I need to see Lissa become queen. I need to see the coronation with my own eyes knowing that she will do well and will change the age law that was unfairly enforced. You did well. You got her sister and now she and become queen. She is ready." She said. It made perfect sense. I knew Lissa would be an amazing queen. Maybe she could actually win.

"I don't think I did. Sure I brought her sister in. She's not alone anymore, but they didn't like each other before they knew they were sisters. It's only going to get worse. I could feel Lissa she felt so sad when she learned the truth. Now Jill is always going to be seen as her fathers mistake." I said. It was true. I felt Lissa. Right before the shot I heard every though every feeling louder than the screaming audience in the room. I knew what she felt and I knew why.

"True, but they'll learn. Come on we have to hurry." Before I could say anything else she started walking through the courtyard to the back.

"Where are we going?" I asked but, got cut off with a shush. Tatiana was staring off into the distance. I moved next to her and looked off to see what she was looking at. I had to squint a little (With her Moroi eyesight she could see clearly) and off in the distance I saw a blonde figure dressed in black walking off to a crowd of people. The hair and dress looked so familiar, I continued watching her until I finally realised it was Lissa.

"Hey that's Lissa." I stated.

"Indeed, it is. "

"What's she doing here is she my visitor?" I asked suddenly feeling excited. I missed Lissa and wanted o badly to see her.

"No I'm your only visitor, " said Tatiana. "Come on let's go see her. " She said and started walking off again. I followed closely behind my eyes never leaving the crowd of people we were slowly approaching

"I can see Lissa?" I asked while still staring at the crowd.

"Yes we can see her but she can't see us. No one can. "

"Oh", I said kind of disappointed. We walked over to the group of people and I saw the last thing I expected to see. Everyone here all had their eyes on the same thing that I couldn't take my eyes off. It was a grave. My grave. There were white roses everywhere and everyone was in black. This was my funeral. I started to panic as the my coffin was being lowered into the ground. I was too stunned to move all I could do is watch. I never pictured what my funeral would be- I doubted I would get one after being on trial for killing the queen. I looked away only to meet Tatiana's eyes.

"What is this? "

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked sarcastically.

"No. That's not possible. You said I'm still alive" I could feel my pulse racing rapidly.

"You are, but you wont forever. You need to focus Rose. Why are we here? What are we looking at? What's going on around us?" she asked suddenly getting very serious. I turned and looked back to where I lay so still it made Goosebumps appear on my arms. I shivered but focused back emptying my mind of all the bad thoughts going around my brain.

"I they all look so sad. All these people who yelled and screamed demanding my death. All these people who were so scared at me and in the end they had the wrong person. They locked me up, sure I understand why. There was plenty of evidence to make me look guilty, but I thought they would at least listen. They all saw me as a murderer. My whole life I have put them first, but still it was like no one was on my side. I understand that all the evidence pointed to me and I know if I were in their shoes I would have thought I were guilty too. And yet I felt betrayed...I think they are all here today because they feel bad. They know the truth now. Tasha was guilty, they blamed the wrong person, but it's too late to apologise so this is the best thing they can do. They blame themselves for not believing me." As I continued on it felt as if everything was frozen giving me a chance to talk. The image of my lowering casket was still fresh in my mind and made me feel empty knowing that if I fail that is exactly what's going to happen to me. These tests were trying to get me to lose but I couldn't let them.

"I should be pissed but I'm not they had legitimate reasons to think I was capable of murder after all I am. Victor…Victor was an accident and I have gotten over it, but that doesn't undo what I did. He's dead and I killed him. I guess I'm not because I know exactly what I'm capable. I guess what I'm saying is I forgive them." As soon as those last three words left my mouth everything began to turn black. Tatiana was gone and I was alone. Hands started reaching out for me from all angles. I struggled out of their grasp but was unsuccessful. I fell backwards into a pool of thick black sludge. The hands kept reaching and I kept falling it was so thick I was struggling for breath. The sludge was just starting to cover my face when I figured out a plan. I had no idea if it could possibly work but I decided to try it anyway. I took the deepest breath I could and turned into the thick sludge. I pushed myself through it eventually getting to the bottom. I moved my hand around and found something solid and round. I had no idea what it was, but I decided to take my chances. I used all my strength and pulled it towards me. I could feel it opening and pulled even harder. It was so heavy I was beginning to question my strength. I mustered all the strength from all the years of training and fighting. Eventually I opened it and instantly got sucked in.


End file.
